


homemade dynamite

by spilborghs (carebearstare)



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Cheating, Colorado Rockies, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 12:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19228996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carebearstare/pseuds/spilborghs
Summary: Ryan’s not sure how he got himself into this mess.





	homemade dynamite

**Author's Note:**

> This all happened because a certain player is just... a lot to take in and loves his teammates and this idea wouldn't leave me alone. And well, I had to. Thanks, as always, to Jenny for always letting me ramble about ships <3
> 
> Also, this is fictional and Ryan seems like sunshine and chaos in the nicest way possible.
> 
> Unbetaed.

Ryan’s not sure how he got himself into this mess.

He hasn’t been here all that long - since late 2017 - and even then, with getting called up and sent back down a few times, he still really, really doesn’t know how he got himself into this mess (yes he does).

New kid on the scene, he wanted to impress everybody, but most importantly… _him._ You know, _him. Nolan Arenado_. Star of the team, star third baseman, star of the game. _Him_.

Didn’t hurt that he looked like _that_ either.

He was called up to play first base, but to himself, he was going to be _his_ first baseman. Wanted to show off, wanted to prove that he could handle his throws like anyone else. He made it to the team, and he had to show why.

He didn’t know Nolan then, not really. Aside from the fact that they were both third basemen (one by trade, the other by sheer will), both from southern California, he didn’t think they had much else in common. Even then, he felt like he _could_ know him.

Ryan never really got the chance, at least not then. Initially called up in August, he was sent right back down a week later. He got called up again in September - but September was a blur, and then it was over just like that. He had wanted to find him after that loss, tell him it’s not his fault - but Nolan was in no mood, and... he hadn’t really talked to him before that. He had wanted to, felt a need to, but… for all his impulsive tendencies, he’d held back.

2018 started the same way, still wanting to impress him. The whole team, of course, but especially him. _He had to._ Unfortunately for him, after just a month’s worth of games, he was sent back down. He was devastated, but this time around he’d had Nolan’s number. As much as Ryan wanted to text him - all day, every day ( _please want to know me_ ) - he only did so for advice, or when Nolan made a ridiculous play. Which luckily for him, happened all the time.

His spring was a rollercoaster, but when he finally got back to Colorado, he chose not to waste his time anymore. It felt different. _Good_.

They’d talked enough that he felt comfortable hanging out around his locker, chatting him up on the field, wrapping an arm around him in the dugout. Like he’d finally made a spot for himself in Nolan’s world. And after he’d finally, _finally_ hit his first home run, Nolan had been one of the first to greet him, and took him out after the game to celebrate.

There was a part of Ryan that had started to wonder if maybe all of his effort was just coming off as hero worship. But when they got to the field the next day, and he was greeted with a hug - strong, solid, _purposeful_ \- and a sly smile, well. He knew.

 

-

 

Even so.

They weren’t together, together. For as much as they’ve hung out together over the last year, naturally gravitated towards each other on the field, went back to the other’s apartment after games - they weren’t _together._ Or that’s what he told himself.

That’s what he told himself back in January, after he came back to Denver and went to that Nuggets game with the guys and flirted with Trevor the whole time. It didn’t matter - it was only for fun. And Trevor was flirting back so what was he going to do? He wasn’t just going to ignore him. He wasn’t mean.

That’s what he told himself during spring training, as he took drills with both. He caught himself showing off for both of them. Of course, he rationalized it then, he wasn’t _showing off_ , just working to prove that he could be just as good at second base, and if he added a little flair to it, well - that was just to show he could play defense just like them.

That’s what he told himself in April, after he noticed a second pair of eyes on him all the time. He enjoyed the attention, even if… (they _weren’t together_ ). So he sat on the bench with Trevor, pressed against him, even if Nolan got all of the hugs on the field, and his affection after the game.

That’s what he told himself when he started to seek Trevor out intentionally. When he started going to him first after a win. When he kept touching him, messing around on the field. When he pulled him out of the locker room, kissed him in the quiet halls of the clubhouse, slid his hands under his shirt, and went home with him (it’s not his fault, Trevor sought him out first). And kept doing it.

But they aren’t together. If they were, Nolan wouldn’t be so quick to leave the field for the night - without him. Right?

That’s what he keeps telling himself, even as he digs himself into a deeper hole. _They aren’t together_ but… he knows. He can feel Nolan’s eyes on them as they’re out on the field together, especially the casual little touches he and Trevor share after games. And as much as he likes Trevor (and his smile, and his mouth, and his hands, and his….), he knows he should stop. He knows he should.

But he won’t. Not until it all blows up in his face.  


End file.
